


Drown It Out

by NIXtheWADE



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, I know I'm a horrible person, M/M, Other characters only briefly mentioned, POV Garrus, Possibly Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-10 23:56:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7866739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NIXtheWADE/pseuds/NIXtheWADE
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An old piece I should have posted ages ago. One-sided Garrus/BroShep. It started off as a reflection of my feelings on the whole MaleShep-can't-romance-Garrus subject.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Two years were a long time not to get over someone, especially when you hadn’t been given an ounce of hope by the other person. Shepard had been a friendly and kind mentor back on the SR1, but there had never even been a hint of something more. Garrus knew this. He wasn’t in the habit of fooling himself otherwise. They were still friends. Good friends. He wanted to keep it that way, to see Shepard as a comrade, as a dependable leader, as a Commander -- but it was proving difficult.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drown It Out

Garrus watched him make his rounds. He could always make out the Commander’s distinct footfalls, even from the battery. Sometimes the man would pay him a visit. Most of the time, he’d briefly enter the medbay to speak to Dr Chakwas, or whomever she was treating at the time. Sometimes he mingled with the crew in the mess, or traded words with Gardner. A couple of times, his footsteps led him right outside the doors to the battery, where they faltered for a few seconds before once again pattering away. Garrus always regretted those times, whatever thought had brought Shepard to his figurative door, yet not through it. But he didn’t regret those times as much as he did all the times his footsteps echoed off into Miranda’s office instead.

Not that there was anything wrong with Shepard and Lawson getting close. They were both human, after all. Favorably paired both in terms of gender and chirality. It was perfectly fine.

Except for how it wasn’t.

Two years were a long time not to get over someone, especially when you hadn’t been given an ounce of hope by the other person. Shepard had been a friendly and kind mentor back on the SR1, but there had never even been a hint of something more. Garrus knew this. He wasn’t in the habit of fooling himself otherwise. They were still friends. Good friends. He wanted to keep it that way, to see Shepard as a comrade, as a dependable leader, as a  _ Commander _ \-- but it was proving difficult.

He didn’t know why he liked the man so much. He didn’t have a human fetish; he hadn’t ever been attracted to another human before. Or another man at that, not ever. He wasn’t repulsed by the idea, he’d just never given it any thought. But then again, no one had ever stirred up the want in Garrus like Shepard did. He didn’t know what to do with the feeling.

Scratch that, he knew exactly what to do with it. He was to drown it in code and smother it with inattention until it suffocated and faded away. Anything close to harboring a secret agenda with regards to his relationship with Shepard, with his  _ Commander _ , was an insult, when the man deserved nothing but Garrus’s respect. There was no one in the universe that Garrus respected more.

He reminded himself of this as he stood by Joker at the helm and watched Shepard walk through the CIC, patting men on the shoulder as he checked on their progress. He was a good leader. A good man. A good  _ friend _ .

With that reminder, Garrus shot a parting jibe at Joker, who laughed loudly and exaggeratedly at him as he walked away. It was time to go calibrate something again, to attempt to drown out thoughts that had no place in his mind. Not on this mission. Not in this lifetime.


End file.
